yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I checked into jail on foursquare
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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