I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
