I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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