i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
