hell yes lets make some ravioli
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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