Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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