Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
