You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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