I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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