I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
