HIV tests are more positive than that guy
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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