Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
