So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
its not stalking. its research.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
