Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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