Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
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