Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
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Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
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We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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