if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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