God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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