i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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