I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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