On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
