Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
