Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Randomize
