cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously