I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
