at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
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