If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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