I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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