Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Randomize
