somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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