I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
Randomize
