whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
