I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
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