he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
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Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
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You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
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