i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
