I'm going to jail i love you
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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