First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Randomize
