Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
