its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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