is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
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