I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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