once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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