you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
