So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
