I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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