I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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