hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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