Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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