Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
When are your genitals available?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
