Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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