No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
