Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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