i always forget guys have bellybuttons
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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