he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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