I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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