If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
