yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
