so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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