we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
