That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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