put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
