I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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