I love black thongs
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
